chickenmonkeydog » People

189 times too many

Thu, 26 Jan 2012 11:47:56 +0000

A 50% discount on a jacuzzi room, with a king size bed, roses, buffet, and an incredibly romantic evening at one of the local area hotels.

This is where Groupon fails. I do NOT want to know that there are 189 other couples about to have the same experience.

The ups and downs of coming back to earth

Tue, 24 Jan 2012 11:26:19 +0000

In thinking about the life that astronauts lead when they are in space, I wonder about how well they adapt to the day-to-day of existence once they return to gravity-effected earth.

I’ve made a short list of some pros and cons about returning to life on earth after an extended stint on the international space station.

Pros

Not having to drink recycled piss
Being able to go for a walk outside without an extensive ‘getting dressed’ session

Cons

Actually having to walk everywhere and all the time if wanting to change locations
Not flying
Not being able to pick up and throw everything
The standard hum-drum of the office routine
Not being allowed to throw food at the dinner table

What pros and cons would you add to my list?

Party like you’re four!

Mon, 16 Jan 2012 11:15:58 +0000

Hey, hey! Chickenmonkeydog is four years old today! Can you believe how the time flies?

As we celebrate another successful year, we wanted to take this opportunity to give our readers some birthday gifts. All you need to do to enter is to leave us a comment wishing us a happy birthday!

(1) For people who have not commented here before, we’re giving away a FREE t-shirt to the first four who wish us a happy birthday. So, if you have never left a comment on our blog, simply be one of the first four to share your birthday wishes with us via the comments, and we will send you a FREE t-shirt. Yep … anywhere you live!

(2) For our wonderfully loyal and consistent commenters, we’re offering the chance to win a FREE coffee mug. If you’ve left a comment on our blog before, simply leave us a birthday comment and we’ll enter your name in our drawing to win a big chickenmonkeydog coffee mug. This part of the competition will close at midnight EST on Friday, 20 January 2012.

Thank you all for sharing in our quirky adventure for another year!

The Three Magi: Typical Guys

Mon, 09 Jan 2012 14:58:02 +0000

In thinking about the gifts delivered to Jesus by the three Magi (or Wisemen), it occurs to me how typically male those three guys were. Gold, frankincense and myrrh are all wonderfully useful and valuable gifts. Yet all three still require someone to go to the store to buy baby clothes, diapers (nappies), and food.

I bet the Magi didn’t even bring a baby toy.

And I am pretty sure they brought Joseph the biblical equivalent of a six-pack or bottle of Scotch, although that seems to have been left out of the official story.

Let’s hope it’s not too much of an emergency

Wed, 28 Dec 2011 15:16:09 +0000

This empty box usually holds simple pamphlets with directions to the nearest hospital (or so we assume, given the label).

Seeing that it is empty makes me think, on the plus side, that directions were clearly needed from this place, so it is great that this was here!

On the negative side, for anyone who may have an emergency here now, I hope it is not TOO MUCH of an emergency!

Dental decisions

Tue, 27 Dec 2011 10:30:39 +0000

The last 1.5 inches of dental floss. Hmm, to floss or not to floss?

Real life red cards

Fri, 16 Dec 2011 21:52:39 +0000

Ever have one of those days where you wish you could issue someone a red card in real life?

From Frosty’s view: consideration of a living snowman

Mon, 12 Dec 2011 16:53:10 +0000

Most Americans, and perhaps much of the Western World (thanks to Hollywood) are familiar with the story of Frosty the Snowman. Assembled from three balls of snow of varying size, he was brought to life by a magical hat.

When considering Frosty’s story, several questions spring to mind:

How did Frosty know how to walk? Was that also the magic hat’s doing?
Where did Frosty learn to speak English? And if he had donned the hat, for example, in Latin America would he have known how to speak Spanish or Portuguese?
Well aware of his limited time as a living snowman, what other tasks/adventures were left unaccomplished on his “to do before I melt” list?

What questions would you have liked to ask of the a jolly happy soul, with a corncob pipe and a button nose?

Skip to my Lou

Thu, 08 Dec 2011 11:50:04 +0000

Woe is me! I thought a pile of leaves was tempting, but I know hopscotch built into the sidewalk is inhumane.

The planning skills of Andy’s mom

Mon, 05 Dec 2011 17:01:36 +0000

Over a recent weekend, I read a Toy Story book to a child. As I read and reflected upon the tale, I was struck by a rather profound concern for the planning skills of Andy’s mother.

If you are not familiar with the plot of Toy Story, the relevant details are this: Andy and his family are moving tomorrow. Andy’s mother, who may be a single mom, has planned for Andy’s birthday party to be on the morning before the family move. From there, an adventure involving the toys develops, bladdy, bladdy, blah. The important fact here is that Andy’s mother planned a birthday party to be held at their house on the very day before the entire family moves to a new house.

That struck me as either an incredibly well-organized attempt to minimize the disruption that a family move will cause her children or a well-intentioned misstep that can lead only to a calamitous disruption of the relocation process.

For our readers: discuss.