This is where Groupon fails. I do NOT want to know that there are 189 other couples about to have the same experience.

In thinking about the gifts delivered to Jesus by the three Magi (or Wisemen), it occurs to me how typically male those three guys were. Gold, frankincense and myrrh are all wonderfully useful and valuable gifts. Yet all three still require someone to go to the store to buy baby clothes, diapers (nappies), and food.

I bet the Magi didn’t even bring a baby toy.

And I am pretty sure they brought Joseph the biblical equivalent of a six-pack or bottle of Scotch, although that seems to have been left out of the official story.

An adult man walks by an adult-sized pile of leaves. What happens next?

In case you have not yet picked up your edible Halloween costume, your local Rite Aid has them on sale for 50% off.

A follow up to our last post on ironic vehicles. The scene before you, seen in Scottsdale, Arizona:

• a fire truck,
• at a warehouse specializing in swimming pools,
• on a rainy day

Wonder if a store specializing in open swimming pools would have the same issue on days like this?

Brushing your teeth

Driving a car

Attending a funeral

Yes, that’s right, absolutely horrible times to sneeze.

ChickenMonkeyDog fans, what are your funniest sneeze memories?

Yet as a father, his sense of timing was certainly suspect. Or it was in at least in one scene in Return of the Jedi. Recall the scene where Luke encounters Darth Vader in the Carbon-Freezing Chamber on Cloud City.

After several minutes of fierce, deadly battle (a battle in which Darth Vader slices off his son’s hand with a light sabre), Darth Vader manages to force Luke onto the edge of the reactor gantry, cornering him for what must surely be ‘the kill’. Mustering all his powers of the Force, Darth Vader then decides that now is a good time to bring up the fact that he is Luke’s father. Really?!? All that mastery of the Force, and Darth Vader still thought moments after cutting his own son’s hand off with an fiery hot laser-sword would be the best time to start working through the many issues surrounding their family relationship. Seriously?!?

I was recently hot air ballooning and took this picture. There were a lot of balloons in the air. I wondered how many balloons would it take in an area before a ‘balloon jam’ would be created? And, how would you control a balloon jam when there are no ‘balloon officers’?

First, you have to find the phone.

Normally we don’t like to give ANY clues about where the phone is, as it spoils our fun.

However, since it’s an emergency, we will give you an approximate location.  But, please don’t ask us to ruin any more of this “treasure hunt”.

Following a recent trend of unnamed bloggers being outed as perhaps the exact opposite of their online identity — a straight man instead of a gay woman, for example — there has been yet another shocking blogger news story. The Lead Code Breaker for chickenmonkeydog has just confessed to being much more weird than he comes across on the blog!

“I am sorry for misleading our readers for so many years. I know it was wrong to pretend that I was just this normal guy living in American suburbia,” the Editor tearfully admitted in a recent interview with NPR. “I really am odd. I say silly things to strangers, I wear silly hats in public, I shout random names at the top of voice in the grocery store. I certainly am not a mild-mannered, quiet, every day kind of guy.”