I have seen this sort of advertisement often enough to know that one can’t believe the initial promise, still it is aggravating.

Why not just say “almost everything”? Or at the very least you could leave out the “absolutely” in “absolutely everything” when you know for a fact that not everything is included.

So, does Dickies mean that the pocket shorts that had this tag attached to it could be worn more than once … or that they could also serve as, say, a hat, a jacket or a nice table mat? You tell me.

Despite the number of times I’ve run laundry machines, I am stunned at how often I mess something up.

Forget the soap. Mix colors that bleed. Shrink clothes. Etc.

How frustrating!

Today I ran some clothes through the wash, loaded them into the dryer and set it on a thirty minute drying cycle. All fairly routine so far. After about forty-five minutes I come back to find that the dryer has stopped turning, but that the timer was only about three minutes gone out of the thirty.  Hmm, curious.

Opening the door, I found that the clothes were still quite wet, and for a bonus prize, they were twisted about two thousand times around each other. Apparently, while loading clothes, the elastic band from some of my gym shorts caught on the door latch.  All the other clothes had gotten twisted up in this mess too, so it took me five minutes just to unravel it all.

Not a good situation = Being stuck on to a stationary part on the inside of a dryer when the tumbling begins.

Who else has had random, quirky and perhaps frustrating laundry experiences to share?

I like to travel light, so I only had one big bag and one small bag. It took hours of arranging, squeezing and cajoling to pack everything into these two bags.  I even had to ask my friend to lend me a hand to close the zipper.

And at the end of it all, what do I discover?

I’d left one of the outside pockets completely empty! Oh the joys of packing. Wah-wah-wah.

Favorite Caption Submitted: Beware of “Vehicle Lifters”…they are usually not toilet seat lifters. – Srinivas

Runner-up favorite: Governmental PSA: If your vehicle is lifted and you feel pissed off, please follow procedure as given above. – Bibhash Dash

If you’re one of the two folks who submitted these comments, watch your email for a note from chickenmonkeydog asking for a mailing address where we can send you this CMD t-shirt!

Though we can’t give everyone awards, we want to say thanks to everyone who responded with all those hilarious captions. Your replies kept the editors laughing for a while.

What would you pay for tailor made happiness?

I suspect (1) this guy isn’t a very good happiness tailor, (2) is way under-charging for his services, or (3) has made billions and moved to Tahiti.

No other way to explain the state of the shop front.

Admittedly, the text is a bit hard to read with the window glare, so here are the salient words again:

ATTENTION!
ATENCION!
ACHTUNG!
ATTENZIONE!

Under Armour makes the world’s most technical products.

So, I think I have to disagree. Surely a nuclear power plant trumps exercise-wear in terms of technical complexity. Okay, I am no scientist, but come on, this one seems obvious.

It IS a big hole in the sidewalk. Imagine that. Luckily I saw it before any accident befell me.

It turns out that not all the passers-by were quite as lucky.  One poor pedestrian approached the hole with one more shoe than they walked away with.

If you were walking and one of your shoes dropped into a hole in the sidewalk, would you abandon the shoe or try to retrieve it?

How much does one have to shop at J. Crew before they give you your own business card just for shopping there?

Once I knew a gal who received a hand-written personal thank you note from Saks Fifth Avenue for her purchases earlier that week. But a business card? If you get one of those, you must really be spending LOADS of shopping time at the J.Crew.

What’s your best ‘hair’ pun?

P.S. This wig bears a striking resemblance to the hair we were cautioned not to shred early last month. Perhaps that is an interpretation we failed to consider?