Dear Spammers: You’re barking up the wrong tree
Posted 17 Nov 2008
Daily Life, People, The Little Things | 4 Comments
This is an open letter from the editors of chickenmonkeydog to all spammers who leave comments on our blog:
Dear Spammers of Porn Advert Comments:
Please do not leave comments on our blog advertising videos of dog sex, even if those movies are available for free. In fact, please don’t leave us adverts for any sex movies. We’re just not interested. Furthermore, we’re fairly confident that our readers aren’t terribly interested either. (And if they are, I am sure they don’t need us to show them where to find such videos.)
To be perfectly honest, our technical editor is becoming frightened of discarding your spam of late as your video offers are growing increasingly violent and disturbing in nature. For the sake of our staff, please do stop sending us these ugly offers.
Thank you,
The Editors
chickenmonkeydog.com
NOTE: Our technical editor has used Photoshop to blur the swearword in the advert comment; otherwise it is as it was submitted.
Don’t Drink and Fight Fires
Posted 14 Nov 2008
Daily Life, Drinks, People, Signs | Leave a Comment
“It is the duty of all members of the Public being on the premises to conduct themselves in such a way that no person on the premises is exposed to danger from fire through any act or omission of theirs”
Geez. All I wanted to do was have a few pints, yet suddenly I have to make sure that I don’t omit doing anything which could prevent any person on the premises from being exposed to danger.
It reminded me of Asimov’s first rule of robotics, yet it was missing the crucial additional qualifiers. Sure, I don’t want anyone to come to harm and I certainly will do my best to prevent any dangerous situations, but the absolute and all-encompassing nature of the posted demands are well beyond the skill of this completely untrained fire-fighter. Again, too much work for a fellow just looking for a drink.
Caffeine Compensation
Posted 13 Nov 2008
Daily Life, Drinks, People | 3 Comments
I’m pretty sure that the guy who works in this cubicle …
… gets paid in direct proportion to the number of coffee mugs he uses each day.
Then again, I didn’t check the name on the cubicle, perhaps this is where Juan Valdez sits.
A marketed difference
Posted 12 Nov 2008
Daily Life, Language, Places, Signs | 1 Comment
When I first moved to the UK, back in 2002, I was surprised by the manner in which restaurants in particular marketed themselves on their signage and hoarding. Restaurants were claiming to be ‘probably the best’. Below is a similar sort of sign:
I used to laugh when I saw those sorts of signs. Only the best in this area? Probably the best? Yet over time, I have developed more of a sense of and appreciation for British culture. Thus, I came to appreciate their sense of understatement. Being seen as too cocky or forward might put customers off.
It was a real lesson in marketing the right message to the intended audience. Claiming to be ‘probably the best’ would never work in America; hey, America is the home of the World Series, where only American and Canadian teams compete. We like things big and loud with a showy sense of confidence. But clearly, that wouldn’t work here in the UK. It probably also wouldn’t work elsewhere as well.
So, I’d like to ask our international audience here, on chickenmonkeydog, how is marketing done in your corner of the world? What cultural differences on marketing need to be considered in your neck of the woods?
Welcome to London
Posted 11 Nov 2008
Commuting, Places, The Little Things | 4 Comments
It’s 6.35 am on a Monday morning. You’ve just arrived in London’s Heathrow. It was a long, bumpy flight from Chicago, Melbourne or Mumbai and frankly you’re knackered. On the flight over, as you reviewed the paperwork for the business deal you’re in London to finalise, you developed a sense of concern over the professionalism of your new partners. Are they looking to cut corners? Do they only go the shortest distance required? Are they cheapskates?
Through baggage claim, past customs and into the arrivals lounge. Which driver did your new partner send for you?
